In my haggled housewife life for the past couple of days I am certainly cockeyed ( all right who am I kidding for the past couple of days) (I am always cockeyed..) (But you know that…)
I have one eye on yesterday and one eye on tomorrow for sure…especially lately… I haggle everyday what should I write…what am I feeling…what do I really want to say
Do I just write about how I feel? Do I write about trying to have someone to see my book? Do I write about the weather? Do I write that I finally learned the difference between Foccahia and Pizza? …(You know I have a silly story to share about this which I have got to tell) ( I truthfully wonder what has the best appeal)
In my think tank … my bubble bath…I think alot. My mind or should I say my eye is on yesterday…tomorrow and everything in between…that is why I am truly cockeyed today. My mind is racing in seven million ways since we have sold the house…. Honest to you for the past couple of days…. All I keep repeating to myself is….”RELAX” ”Deep breath in…Deep breath out.”…” “Put your hand on your tummy …”say calm down….” “and count out loud….” meditation. (hey if it can work for the preschoolers it can work for me…) (I am now carrying BE CALM BUNNY in my pocketbook)
Like in my book…when I wrote…. about howI felt about going to college … I feel like I did almost twenty five years ago, when I handed in my revised writing assignment to that (overly critical)(brutally honest) (painfully truthful) teacher… before and after… the before part ( all the blahhhhh stuff) and the after part…waiting for word and comment…not really knowing what to expect..what the outcome was going to be…(anxiously pacing the floors… peeking out the door…waiting for the lion to roar)
The truth is I am like a big pile of mush. (figuratively and literally) (EVEN MORE SO THAN USUAL) one minute laughing, crying, singing, dancing, shouting, sighing, flipping and flooping all around the floor…just trying to patiently get to the next stage…. which as I sure I have mentioned probably a hundred times already but is going to take at least three to four weeks of limbo time…. in the infamous house selling to SISSY.
So literally and figuratively……. here is what I have decided to do…while I am on the limbo line. (COVER BOTH EYES AND LOCK MYSELF IN MY HALL CLOSET) (Just leave me a dozen jelly donuts, three twelve pack of diet pepsi, five bags of cheetos and six carafes of coffee outside the door) (ten ball point pens and seven legal pads)
(All right… so see ya guys in four weeks) (wink,wink)
(All right…I am only kidding…) Here is what I have decided to try to do…… keep both eyes focused in the present and in the moment on today ( only today) ( My eyes just need to share that information with my tummy which is constantly in an uproar…)
I am going to swim, watch movies, go to Cobey’s B ball game, get flip flops for a dollar a pair ( at OLD NAVY), soak in the hot tub and try not to stub my toe when I walk. I will read books, write my infamous blog ( Okay…who am I kidding only sharing my real honest true feelings) and take it easy on myself while I am in this eye fog (Of yesterday, tomorrow and today)
That’s a loose plan of course…because you know I am finally learning alot can happen from today to tomorrow… Happiness…sorrow..no knows ..Right?
Thank goodness I am used to being a little cockeyed. (wink,wink)