The Haggled Housewife Blog

In the month of May there are many friends, family and holidays I can shout a Haggled Housewife HEY to…Murph, Cobes, Tessy from Molvaria, my secret pen pal from Pennsylvania (wink,wink), Cinco De Mayo (Ole), Mother’s Day (Yeah), Memorial Day (Waving my flag proudly) and if I was from Canada ( although I am not) according to my  UNICEF calendar……. Victoria’s Day (Hip Hip Hooray?! – I guess!!!) but today I will honor my friend because

in the Month of May she was born…… if  it is  today or tomorrow? or the next day?!  ( it really doesn’t matter) because the point is that everyday I am grateful to have her in my life…..( I really  am just looking for an excuse to pay a long over due tearful truthful  tribute to my best friend. (Say that five times fast)

When I first wrote the book….. once everyone got through the first couple of chapters….. they moved on to the one about dynamic Denise.  One of the biggest compliments I or should I say rephrase  and say……  darling Denise received was …”I wish I had a friend like that…” “I wish I had a person in my life like that….” “I don’t feel close to anyone like that…you are sooo lucky to  have a friend like that!”  “I know”,  I said…secretly giving them the are you kidding me stinky eye… I was a little suprised and taken back by that… I literally and figuratively thought everyone had a Mrs. Larkin( like in the their back parkin) ….

  You know a full fledged best friend…through thick and thin…  part cheerleader, part party helper,  part nurse, part driver,  part therapist, part babysitter, part champion,  part drinking buddy, pal….confidante…chum…crony…. Amiga….  someone to get a tattoo with…get the flu with… and yell yahoo with…… I soon came to realize not so much…. That is another claim to my haggled housewife fame…my relationship with my friend Denise.

Honest to you, she has made it so easy for the past 16 years to love, treasure,value, appreciate,  cherish and want to be her friend.  Although I tease and say that at times we are completely opposites  in personality—–she is fiery and fierce and as I may have mentioned before she is not afraid ( even if she is) she doesn’t let anyone know. (I laugh when I hear her say…”That’s it!”  because I know what is store for anyone who comes across her door. (She can take anybody) (Not necessarily in a bad way) (But my money is on her….) (All right…I know you know I don’t have any money….but don’t forget about my advance degrees in peoples emotions and personalities) (wink,wink)  So believe me when I say… she can put the rowl in the word growl.  I like that about her..its hip. It’s real.  It’s cool… and makes her nobody’s fool. (Mmmhhhhhmmm) ( I always tease she drinks her coffee from cup with a cactus on it)

But if you are lucky enough to have her love you… and there are a chosen few… like the way she loves me …you feel like a million bucks even though truthfully you don’t have two pennies to put together.  She doesn’t care, what you look like, what you wear… how much weigh, where you stay or even what you say…. She cares about you…. the true you…. she is  so kind, so  sweet and so  forgiving,  so funny,  so bright,  so smart and so full of fun.    She gives you everything that she has got ( I know it is  grammatically incorrect but it is a perfect way to describe her) (SO I AM GOING WITH IT)  She boundlessly has been there for me, so much so I can’t imagine my life without her.  I would be heartbroken and beside myself if I ever lost her in the littlest way.  I don’t think I would  be who I am today….  without her in my life..I believe with her I am not so alone in my  life..( and  how many people can really say that about somebody) . even though we are miles apart…she is truly embedded in my heart, my soul and  my spirit…in everything I do. 

I also write in my book that if it wasn’t for her there wouldn’t be a book or this blog for that matter.   She has went above and beyond what friends do and (she is right when she says she has read all  100 posts)( 122 now but whose counting?!..all right me…and maybe her…….)  I don’t know if she knows this or believes this  but many times she is my inspiration…. my muse…although I say it is the unkind ugly recession…she gets I needed to do this ..my creativity thing…. and she actually likes it and she laughs too! ( even if sometimes she only pretends to….)  She is truly my number #1 fan…. and for that I give her a standing O and a grande Kudos.  She knows that this is bigger than me… and with out her support… it would  mean that  no one would ever really read anything that I wrote .  ( How profound my friend and I really truly  believe that)

 I don’t know ..what more I can say…I know  over time our friendship has only improved and strengthened……..and will continue to do so  …now that it is in  black and white.. it will be forever…even after we are gone… our memories, our love, our feelings,our comfort,  our support …. our life of  funny fabulous friendship!

She is the one person…who I truly believe …when she says……. you always have a home with me.  “I know that”, I say…always holding back tears.(Thanks)  (Right back at ya best girl friend…)

The truth is though…..  she is a much better friend than me…. than I am to her…. ( she always has been)  (Most of our friendship I have just been a blubbering baby that she had to drive around)  I would be lying if didn’t add that part.   ( I am not kidding about being confused about her day being today or tomorrow.  )( OR THE NEXT DAY) (LCL)  That is why I know she is better than me, she doesn’t get confused by dates, throw dirty plates and look for cheap rates. ( I  am sure of it  just like I am sure of her.)      It is has been an amazing honor to be part of her life and I am looking forward to spending many more years together – just not so damn far apart!   Someday … it is my dream  to  retire together in FLORIDA…where I can write and  leave  her little silly friendship  notes slipped under her door ….and drink spiked punch at lunch with the boys on the beach!  (Now…that’s hanging around and having haggled housewife  fun)

Happy,happy Birthday Best Friend!  (I think I have finally come to the end) ( wink,wink) I love you with all my heart! ( You big raspberry tart….)

Lately in the story of the Haggled Housewife life I have been bragging alot about ( probably way too much) about being brave, strong and smart.

Well, honest to you, I was neither of the three when I hung out in hiding at my friend Sue’s apartment last night eating  spicy hot Doritos and drinking cold crisp bubbly ginger ale.

I ran scared, I didn’t dare go home when the Strong – Independent-Self -Sufficient-Young lady came for the last licks on the house.  ( you know for the final walk through)  I just couldn’t so I kept dilly dallying at work not really working ( oh okay…twirling myself round and round in the office assistants chair while trying to balance a fig newton cookie bar under my nose) ( the kids snack of the day).  Secretly, keeping my friend Sue by asking her 50,000,000 extension questions (What happened next?) (Oh, yeah..tell me about…)(Why didn’t you…?) ”Oh and by the way can you please  explain the difference between focaccia and pizza….?”   Finally she caught on to me… “Why aren’t you getting ready to go home?”  “I can’t …I cried…”I just can’t”…. telling her about the SISSY lady (Oh, the irony) Look at who is calling who a sissy?! “Come home with me …my place is a mess but we can just chill..” she assures me.   ”Okay”, I said.  The weather matched my mood..pouring rain…. I really was not in a mood to go anywhere…  ( but crying in my car) not such a good idea anymore…. crying with a true friend is better ( I finally believe in my heart and head).

I stayed for two hours…. talking..crying…whinging..whining…and burping ( from the Ginger Ale of course) I secretly shared with Sue that maybe the SISSY would hear the choo choo train and run scared ( can you believe my maturity with this?) I deliriously devilishly pictured her ( meanwhile I don’t even know what she looks like) shouting to her broker…”THE TRAIN SOUNDS LIKE THAT…FORGET IT…IT IS TOO LOUD AND THIS HOUSE SHAKES”.  I then secretly silly wished her convertible full of cash stalled out in (my/her/our)   pristine driveway and she  just runs away…saying she would never be back and somehow there was some fancy looney loophole in the contract that she would have to  leave all her money behind ( just enough) in time ( wink,wink).  She then shouts…”I have so much money…” “I don’t care …as long as you are keeping the cash maybe you should keep  the car too!” Then I say….  (”Psssttt..Look Mrs. Henderson … I got one too and it is for free.” ) Sue shakes her head from side to side…… “Somehow I wouldn’t get your hopes up for that happening Haggled Housewife…”, she says.    “Are you sure you don’t want some RUM mixed with your Ginger Ale?” “I think you need it…..”

“No thanks…I say… “today it  would not change the situation.”..  I call Kayla …”Is the SISSY lady finally gone?” …. I say… “Yeah about a 1/2 hour ago and “Mom, she bought all of our patio furniture.”  I hung up and started crying, whining and sighing again.  “I don’t own any more patio furniture anymore…” I said to my friend.  She patted me on the back like a baby….I was being….  ”It will be okay”..she said… “We can always sit on the ground on towels.”  I whine and cry..that when I get down…I can’t get up…especially from the ground.” (SOMETIMES I AM STILL SO SHALLOW)     “Don’t worry”, she said…”I will help you up.” “Promise me”. I say.  We pinky sware and I finally leave… to come back home…..  “You sold her everything in the back yard to the SISSY!”  I say to Goober Gary…”"Your kidding right?”  “Nope… he says and “she may want more from the basement too.”  “Now I think”… “I will have the rum.”…I mumble. “What?” Gary says…”I have to change myself.” , I say.

As I write this today in my Haggled Housewife Life I am full of indecision. 

I am swishy washy ( squishy squashy) jumpy and fluttery too!  I literally and figuratively am sitting on pins and needles and have butterflies flying in my stomach.  I have watermelon pits moving around not making a sound.  I have been like this since we “sold” the house and now while I wait for the strong independent ladies mortgage approval…I try to continuously calm my indecision down.

“You sold your house” I tell myself.  “That is a good thing.” for numerous reasons..financially and emotionally “You sold your house” I tell myself.  “That is a bad thing.”   for numerous reasons financially and emotionally.  In my book I write a chapter called Loose Noose Around My Neck” and again literally and figuratively I have always felt indecision about it…..

I felt that where I lived had become too much for me…the expectations were high…to maintain it..polish it…improve it…decorate it…I almost felt like I gave my whole life to it.  I certainly gave a fair ( okay) all of money to it..so much so I over invested in it.  I always secretly  wanted to stop but felt like I couldn’t…….. it was going too far.  Maybe if Gary would have listened to me…maybe if I would been stronger…or maybe if I would have known better… now of course that it is sold…I am scared…. certainly of the unknown… but in some way I am looking forward to not having the “perfect” house anymore.  Like it or not… I haggle daily with calming myself down and back and forth full of indecision…”You sold your house that’s good.” “You sold your house that’s bad.” I  may be stuck for a little while why I wait in the indecision state……. ( unfortunately as we know it is too late)

I wrote this post as I am dodging a shoe that my little son just threw at me.  He is mad because his yellow shorts he was going to wear for field day have a big chocolate stain.  I assure him…”I can get it out.”  “Then my leg will be wet and cold.”, he shouts.  “If you don’t stop your whole body is going to be wet..I say..giving my very best stinky eye.  “You will go in the shower to cool off… two baths in one day…that should change your attitude, I say sticking my tongue out.” No, no”, “I am clean enough”, he says.   

Today is Cobey’s Birthday. ( Happy, happy birthday Cobey!)  Last night, I couldn’t help myself when he came into my bed..I didn’t give him the familiar big boy talk ( you know the one about sleeping in his Mommas cozy bed)  I said …”Sure”, “Come on in”, and cuddled close with him.  I even watched his Nickelodeon shows) (wrestling and baseball too) “Watch this play Ma”,  he said….I held his soft hand in mine.  Tears of course ran down my checks.  “Ma…you cry over everything”, he said.  (Two reasons – One I know I am PMSing and two because of all the strong feelings and emotions I am feeling. ( Trying explaining that to a nine year old) Instead I said “Because…I love you” “You are a good boy”… I sighed.

In my book I openly share that Cobey was born to help heal my heart and he as a son has really done that.  Although fiery, fierce and strong at times…he is sentimental, loving and sweet too.  He can really maneuver me… when he says…”Okay,okay…I am really sorry”.  “Give me another chance pleazzzzze” and then drops a pack on Nerds all over my pants. (I can’t help it I get cranky again)( The cycle frequently repeats itself)

I had the pleasure of  taking him on a his shopping spree to spend his money from his birthday party.  I really enjoyed it… he brought a brand new 20″ inch bike with a sparkling helmet to match.  This bike is sooo cool”, Mom he said.  “It is a Mongoose.” “I love it”…he also bought a bike lock too.  “So no one steals my cool new bike”, he informed me.  Makes perfect sense..I laughed.  Next we went to the fancy sneaker store.  He loves fancy sneakers ( I don’t know why but he does)  He had $60.00 left.  After trying on about 12 pair – he settled on his namesake shoes…( bright yellow and purple)  .  “That’s an awful lot of money to spend on shoes”, I said.  “I know”, he said “but he is good player, he insisted.  Gary and I had recently bought him tide me over shoes for $9.99, when he left his other fancy ones out in the rain.    He was so funny in the shoe store trying to stuff his feet in the displays saying “Why don’t these fit?”.  “They bring you your size.” I said shaking my head.  “Oh, I get it… that’s why there is only one shoe”, he smiled. “Silly boy.” I sighed again……

Next stop, The Children’s Place for the official yellow shirt ( for field day)..It said REALITY TV STAR.  “You are sure you want your shirt to say that?”, I asked.  “Yes”, he said.  Kids in my class think I am a funny guy.” (I thought about my  Haggled Housewife Life Reality TV Show dreams….) (”You are a funny guy..smart too..bright….” “handsome too”  ) “Ahhh Ma”, he said.  Lunch was a $2.00 taco deal at Taco Bell.  He wanted to try a soft taco this time.  “Mmmm..goood”.., he said.  We finished our shopping with a visit to the Game Stop.  ( He had a twenty dollar card so he bought a MLB2009) Finally, he was ready to go home.  “I’m done”, he said.  “Your broke”, I said.  “You even owe your father $10.00.” I laughed again. 

I hope today is a great day for him – it should because it is field day at his school because Friday it was suppose to rain but it didn’t so now instead of doing math he will be runnung really races.  My parents are paying and picking up #9 donuts for his class and juice, an afternoon treat.  I told him we would make him anything he wanted for dinner he choose pizza of course… His evening is filled with a baseball game ( the coach even said he could start pitching)  and Gary bought his teammates Ice Cream bars (chocolate and strawberry eclairs)  to celebrate after the game.

I don’t think think today  could have worked out more to his advantage or mine.    I am glad for him as well as me.    It makes me feel overjoyed as his mother to see him love his life…I love him so much… all trouble aside  although I give out ..alot of the time I am thoroughly enjoying watching him, grow and age. (wink,wink)

Happy,happy birthday Cobey!

I write this post today to my daughter.

It is part confessional,  part apology, part advice and part explanation. ( A mishmash of emotion….feelings)

You see when her father told her the house was sold…surprise, shock and sadness understandably came over her.  I was expecting it but was very unprepared to deal with it.  She screamed, shouted and ran off ….tears streaming down her red checks , her Ugg boots thrown under her arms, sweat jacket half on in an incorrigible emotional state.  I spat out the words to Gary “How can you be so cold and callous…so mean…what is wrong with you…” “You wait twenty minutes before she is suppose to go to dance without  discussing it with me and you just go and tell her…then you start yelling…when she starts crying, ranting and raving….” “What the h— is wrong with you.”

My eyes filled with familiar burning tears.  Truthfully I was on the brink of them all day once Gary had called me with the news.    I sympathized with Kayla.  I knew the emotions she was feeling…shock, surprise, and grief.   A  feeling of  a bad attack.  Like a sick kick to the stomach that makes you want to puke… Honest to you I know that both kids do not want to move… from their childhood home.  Kayla has expressed it over and over again.  I know this is going to be difficult for her.  Thirteen years in the same house is familiar and safe.  Leaving is unfamiliarity and insecure.  “Relax”….Gary said.  “She will be back”.  “She is f—— fourteen years old…”, I shouted.

When Kayla returned home she took the stairs two at a time…slamming her feet down..when she reached the top of the steps …..she slammed the door and screamed out a piercing sound of pain.  I knew I should go to her and try to comfort her but seeing her in so much pain overwhelmed me… I started crying my big droopy tears… which caused Gary to start raising his voice again and cursing ….”Oh just shut up already…I shouted…”Why didn’t you think?” “What is wrong with you.” “What is wrong with you”…he shouted…”Go to her”… I said “Sure”,  sarcastically… “you start and then you want me to finish…” “Just like everything”,  I say.  “I am so sick of picking up the pieces”, for you.  (Wondering where any of this was leading…now it was not only about Kayla but Gary as well.)

I went upstairs and knocked at her door. I said  “Kay”, please let me in.  “Go away”, she said.  “I won’t”, I said.  “I’ll stay outside the door – all night if I have to.” I said. I sat down in front of the door and kept gently knocking over and over again.   Finally, she relented and let me in.  “I know…honey”, I said.   ( I hugged her) “I am not moving…” she shouted.  “I am not leaving here.” she said.  “I know”, I said.  I tried to find words to comfort her and just couldn’t.  I tried to figure a way out of making it better.  Honest to you, I drew a blank.  I sat there almost motionless…grief, pain, guilt and emotion washed over me.  I sat memorized but I recognized I should be saying something to comfort her.  ( God Damn it … I thought…you are her mother..for cripes sake say something to make her feel better.) “You know”…I said ” I actually feel the same way that you do….”crying.  “I just can’t control what is happening” “I am trying as hard as can, and I want to but I am feeling afraid and scared, too.”   “It is not fair”, she said.  “It really sucks”, “I know…”  I agreed. “Kay”, when we are calm we talked about the pros and cons of leaving the house and we decided that leaving the house was the best.”  “For you”, she shouted.  “Not me”, she said.  I said…. “I know”.  In an old familiar way I felt like a sad punching bag of everything bad that had happened to us.  I still felt the same amount of pain that had helped me to pen the book and the blog…two years later…I am now accepting  the fierce fact that our lives must change not matter what.  I cannot fix it or save it, it is way too late. ( It is now my job to help Kayla… )  As difficult as it seems.

“Kay”, we can decide to try to work together on this and find a really cool place to live.”  trying to convice her as much as me.  “Plus you always said you want to have more money.” “I think this is the only way that may happen.” “You always say”, that you want to do more and not stay home as much… “This may be a way for it to happen.” “You have to decide to have an open mind…all of us do now during this time.” “Daddy, myself and Cobey”, “we have to compromise….work together….it is okay to feel our feelings to get better…but we have to decide together not to be reduced them.” We have to just work through them… and help each other.”  ”We have to make this work somehow.”  “We will.” “We can do this”. ”I know we can”, I said.  Finally…. she stopped crying…”Can you take me to Mandee’s tomorrow… “I want to get sweat pants.”, she said with a tissue in her hand. 

“Ahhh…Kayla…”, I sighed…realizing… sometimes I still need to give in to make her feel better…whether it be right or wrong…during that moment I really didn’t care. “Sure Kay…”, I said.  “I will even take you to the mall.”  We lay in her bed for awhile and I said…”Come on do you want to go to your brothers practice?” “It is too cold at the field”,  she said….. “Okay”, I said.  “Call me if you need me.”  ” I kissed her check.

Much to my surprise, wonderment and amazement we sold our house yesterday.

Just like that…we had a showing at 2:00 o’clock on Wednesday.  An offer at 12:00 noon on Thursday and by Thursday 5:30 pm…… we had a signed deal.

We didn’t get 100% of what we wanted but close enough 85%.  The family that was trying to sell their house to buy our house had offered us a substantial higher offer. ( but honest to you…who know when they were going to sell their house)  This buyer, a single lady with no kids in her mid 30’s comes with a  convertible  car load of cash. ( figuratively and literally)  ( How is that for a strong independent woman who takes care of herself) (The complete opposite of the current owner)  What  this buyer  is putting down on the house is more money than I have seen to date.    So we do not need to worry about any  stuffy too short  appraisal.  She is also  pre approved for a higher mortgage than she applied for so we don’t need to worry about that as well. (She has a good secure high paying job) (whoa… the irony)   She literally appeared out of nowhere on Wednesday … ( She obviously isn’t lost like me) ( she is on the track (literally and figuratively) (sorry I couldn’t stop myself)  and the way she signed her last name on the contract – all squiggly,  swirly and fancy…  ( truthfully …. you can’t even read it) ( I swear to you this lady’s best friend is my dreaded nemesis  GUS)  and just like that  she has became part of  the Haggled Housewife Life  house story…..

 Honest to you… long term wise we  really couldn’t refuse her offer…….

As you know our house has been on the market for 10 long months..we have hosted four open houses and received numerous comments about living life right on the railroad tracks…. so it didn’t really look like a sale was sadly in the works…although we stayed focused and continued with our plan….I wondered daily where this story would go…( still always secretly hoping for a “perfect” happy ending……) Not really knowing what was going to happen…trying to sell but probably wanting  to stay….transcending… my infinite power of energy…..

Maybe this is the middle of the story… as you are well aware the Haggled Housewife story stems from my crazed lovesick obsession with perfection which included my extreme fondness/foeness  of my house ( that is how  I coined my infamous nickname) I won’t lie – my house caused my pain, sadness, shame, happiness, enjoyment and fulfillment. (That is how I was able to finish the book)

Selling is definitely bittersweet and I struggle with my feelings and try to rationalize with them.  I certainly am still confused by them. Almost intimidated by them.     I feel overwhelmed and exhausted by the prospect about what is going to happen …the packing, the moving and the changing.   I am hurt, humbled and haunted by what is to be and where we will end up and how we will get there and even after we get there with the possibility of something like this ever  happening again (My life is getting so out of control and not knowing what is going to happen next.) (Also not owning anything… possibly losing my comfortable old identity of making excuses and poor decisions as well still being petrified of living following me to my new house……my new place…my new start…) My second chance to get it right????…

Familiar fatigue and a  sickness  in my stomach  have returned.  Tossing and turning and worrying almost feel like second nature by now with the same sadistic three am ritual of crying, whining and complaining and writing about the haggled housewife  journey I am on. ….  There is no turning back in the story….I have come too far….  with the decisions I have made…  I will continue to share … although I am scared, frightened and feel alone ( although deep down….  I know I am surrounded and supported by friends) and I know that it is time for me to be strong, smart, brave and creative for my kids, my husband and most off all myself.  I  know I can’t fall apart again…..     Although I just can’t get my head and heart to  compromise on this one…no matter what I do. (Oh…how I wish it was clear cut)

Resiliency seems out of reach today, possibly because of the newness, honest to you with the way that I am carrying on…. maybe not tomorrow either.  I am still haggling I have alot of work to do with that and as I think about our decision to sell before a disaster could have occurred… (possible foreclosure or no money to make the mortgage),it still seems like a silly broken record cliche. (If only…if only…if only…)(We need to do it…we need to do it…we need to do it…)

I guess I am feeling sorry for myself again…..maybe not necessarily rightly so but I know deep down I am still devastated by my loss ( grieving over four walls and door) ( not very brave, strong and smart ..and certainly not very independent… like the lady who bought the house…)( Come on….I need t rely my humor now more than anything now…) Crying and laughing.. a big wet mess… ..I really don’t want to be like this….  what I really want to do today is try to make the best of what is happening.  (Believe me it may not sound like it but I am really trying)  As always, I promise to keep you posted as the story progresses ……

* I am sure that Gilda Radner wrote this quote about her life… not about the loss of a  house…but I found it  so moving and touching… I hope my writing was able to depict…it relation to my life )   It was my intention to use it with the greatest respect…and to honor her  beauty,  power and humor… ..  her dignity and grace while she lived  and lost her precious life.  ( I  just hope I was able to do that!)

In my Haggled Housewife Life….my claim to fame is my rhyming, alliterations, sappy love poems, silly jingles and pun …( when it come to my writing).

Here are a couple of impromptu examples ( a nice french word – I slid in there….at least I think it is french….anywhoooooo)

There is a piece out of my heart because I miss smart Denise ( Oh, my goodness it makes me want to eat a Reese…..) ( Okay, not so much….) I’ll try again…

Cobey takes cold lunch, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays …it stinks a bunch because I have to pack him something to munch…. ( 3 days a week) (Not so much again)  How about some alliteration this time….

Gooney Gary gently glides the golden gloss over the Gussman’s giant garage.

I know you are following this post thinking…okay…what’s  the point    (It is just Lisa showing off and being silly…what else is new) ( Come on all my posts can’t be funny, smart, brave and creative…a few have to be sarcastic and just plain stupid?! ( Did I just admit to that?)

I also use my rhyming, poems, silly jingles, alliteration and pun to help my students learn specific concepts… some are already written for me (finger plays and songs) and some I just make up as I go along.  (One of my kids all time favorite books is Chicken Soup with Rice by Maurice Sendak) (They love it….they can recite it frontwards, backwards and upside down wards) 

For sure I am no Maurice Sendak… but here is a silly little number…(ahhhh the pun) that  I wrote about the numbers to help my kids.  I draw the numbers on my giant wipe off board and make them into pretend number stick people … as I draw them…..  this little ditty is what  they shout at me…

O is loney …(oh, nooooooo)

1 has big ears….

2 lives on the railroad tracks …( You know someone had to buy my my house…LCL)( Even if it only a pretend  stick figure number 2)

3 is up a tree….

4 want more of everything….

5  sat next to a hive and then got stung by a bee…(bzzz)

6 threw some sticks at….

7 who started to cry…

8 got surprised….

9 ran away after being naughty…

and 10 was happy to be at the end…

As silly as it is…. the stick figure numbers help the children to remember ….

I use that trick alot to with myself when I need to remember something like a street address, important terminology or a theory (You know GUS stuff)… I do that to with Cobes when he is stumped and feels he can’t remember something… in school….

SOMETIMES  RYMTHMING REALLY HELPS – Even bad rhyming (LCL) Try it sometime….. and you will find… (have some fun fill in the blank)

Today – The Haggled Housewife Mother Nature refresher is wet weather ……AKA – RAIN.

I don’t know if it came  from my worry waltz last night ( or what) but today is a total wash out.  ( a rainstorm brainstorm via Haggled Housewife wife life)

Raindrops keep falling on my head….  

which means Gary outside job we need to pay the monstrous mortgage is not happening ( at least for today) (Maybe not tommororrw either because I believe he needs one official drying day.)

Cobey’s pitching practice with Kayla’s high school JV Pitcher boyfriend cannot take place as well…too soggy…. can you pitch while holding umbrellas?! (SOME HOW I DON’T THINK SO)

I can’t take my class to the playground or to the park.  A bunch of preschoolers cooped up on rainy day without any place to play..possible rain relays will have to work to squash some of their energy and excitement   A silly sock toss… ( another smart use for my sox box)  the limbo left from Kayla’s Hawaiian Luau and my creative car dance will have to suffice.

My lunch time walk with Merlonka from Sir Lanka will need to be rescheduled.  I won’t get my 45 minutes of exercise that I have come to like and look forward to ( YEAH, YES…I JUST SAID THAT) even though Merlonka still thinks I am way too slow…. I keep reminding her ( HEY…I AM TWENTY YEARS OLDER THAN YOU!) She is like my young fit…. physical trainer…. “Keep it moving”, “Catch up…”Come on”  she says… You act like an old critchy fat bat.”  – (the last part she thinks to herself…. she is way too polite and refined for street talk like that). ( BUT IT IS WRITTEN all over HER PRETTY POWERFUL STRONG YOUNG FACE) AND IN HER EXTREMELY FAST PACE…..

And the big thunderstorm…. Cobey’s (first ever) ( maybe last) Birthday at home may be a wash out.  Although it is scheduled for Friday.  –Two days away…..  A rented wrestling movie..or a recent “kid” release, two tons of popcorn and a game of WII will have to be in the forecast for a SPORTS wash out party.

Although… I know I cannot let the wet weather AKA RAIN (  the silly pun) on my parade….NO RAINY DAY BLUES only ….refreshing rain…coming down…my head

(Ready here goes)

If Gary stays home today, when I get home from work my dinner will be waiting hot on my table with candles . (ohhhh…ahhh) which we may need alot of if they turn off the lights…..( Only kidding… or am I…. I don’t know if it keeps raining)

Cobey will finish his homework early.  No late night running rigid…He can rest his arm…so it doesn’t go lame. 

My students will sleep better at NAP. ( It will be soooo dark – they won’t be able to see to get off their beds and try to talk) (Ahhh..quiet for a change)

At lunch time, I can lounge around for a whole hour in my works hallway green velvet chair, and put my feet up.  ( I am sure they will hurt as I am wearing fancy closed toe heals today) I won’t feel guilty and I will indulge in my steamy romance novel.

If Cobey’s B Day needs to be inside – (I can always hide) – (Only kidding…..or am I)…. electronic video games will have to suffice…. a rainy day romp will happen anyway… (a possible  puddle jumping contest) (only kidding that would track mud in my house)  (They can hide.. a cool refreshing game of indoor 8 year old manhunt will probably honest to you take place)

And in typical Haggled Housewife Life fashion…. my flowers will finally get so much needed water… worms will wiggle their way into my driveway ( something for me to study with my preschool friends next week – goes with my bug study), I will have a legitimate excuse to why my hair looks the way that it does ( matted and flat), I will get to find my new pink portable umbrella Holly Hall gave me for my B-Day and actually use it  and finally when the sun shines it will feel delicious.

Repeat after me please…RAIN IS REFRESHING…RAIN IS REFRESHING…RAIN IS REFRESHING! (there is no such such thing as bad weather, only different kinds of good weather)

(wink,wink)

According to The Book of Me – A Do It Yourself Memoir Kit written by Nannette Stone – knowing thyself ( the ancient way to say it) or yourself (the classic way to say it )or the  Haggled Housewife way to say it…..   (me self)  is good advice I agree with.

(Thanks Murph for the really great book for my B-Day, ( I love it)) (It does help me when I get writers wedge) (Did I just admit to that?!!) (Uggghh..)

Answers to the questions…who am I? ( the Haggled Housewife), why am I here? (to haggle) and where am I going? ( I still have no clue) are important to everyone not even people who are trying to or have written their memoirs.  These questions help to describe yourself  in the context of much larger world, by detailing significant past events in your lifetime and creating a “slice of life” (Mile Apple Pie Again….) and a time capsule snapshot of your typical day. ( Eating cheetos, drinking cold coffee and haggling with my eyebrow lady). 

Make alot of sense….. I think I did all that in my story and in my book. 

The next suggestion the book offers is to embrace your own version of life which you have lived. ( I guess I do that to) To be spontaneous – which I continue to work on daily.  To be candid with yourself which will allow you  to put my mind and heart on paper.  ( Something I have done time and time and time again in my writing)

It then stated that if edit myself it can only be for posterity but only after  I have written freely ( as I look back on my book and blog) I have certainly written freely – maybe even too freely – wild episodes, secret emotions, painful anecdotes, and silly explosions ( hopefully interesting, valuable, worthwhile and fascinating) as well as  FUNNY,SAD and SARCASTIC.  As I have went back to edit – I have said to myself – “Nah…let it in…….. from outbursts, crying jags to purposeful grammatical errors – taking a chance…… adding realness and  honesty to my writing … Almost a large gallon Ziploc bag – filled with ideology, self matters and personal trivial. ( Just another day in my Haggled Housewife Life ) (wink, wink)

The Haggled Housewife six million dollar secret word  of the day is SHOES.

 
That’s right…… this post is a boast about SHOES …….( because on Friday afternoon during our staff meeting) my boss passed out a letter reminding us of our formal stuffy “safety” dress code.  I think it is policy #553  – Article # 32 -Section 6 A -  (Okay…so I am not really sure which policy number it is – you know how much I pay attention to GUS).  The policy  clearly states that closed toe shoes should be worn if you are assigned to a classroom. (which means me because I am now assigned to  a classroom….)
My main concern is I have to have the right closed toe shoes and I really don’t own too many pairs of shoes.  Most of the shoes I wear are actually Kayla’s shoes because we have the same size foot. (lucky me)… So for stepping out and conquering the world shoes…. I can only choose between my pink flip flop slippers ( which are open toe shoes), my friend Sue’s too-tight $5.00 high heel shoes (which I bought at my garage sale) ( but they have a peep toe) some semi fancy sandal wedges ( but again they have an open toe) , a pair of slides ( but they again show my pretty pedicured tootsies ) as well as my hip cool macrame beaded open toe platforms ( again not the right safety shoe).
I guess you can see where this post is pointing……..
In the closed toe shoe department of my closet, I do have an odd pair of  COMFORTABLE TEACHING SHOES…. (old fashioned and rubber sole) but I have to wear socks – now socks and capris ( I don’t necessarily think that looks good….but without the socks …I will surely get big blisters…) (”Sorry kids…I can’t help you today..I got a big blister on my toe”, as I sit crying in the corner.) I DON’T THINK SO! ( Definitely not the right shoes…)  I or should I say Kayla has an array of UGH boots ( brown, black, tan, sand and High Chestnuts).  Cozy on a cold winters day but a little silly (even for me) on a sizzling spring day. ( but they are closed toe) I also have a tan, black and brown pair of boots.  I have a pair of rubber rain boots and well as two pair of high snow boots ( with the plastic liner and all) again appropriate when the weather is right ( cold and snowy but since today is high 62 and sunny) not such a a good choice to conquer the world.

 
Kayla and I share about 6 pairs of fancy dressy designer sneakers but according to policy #553 Article #32 Section 6B – sneakers can not be worn as well.  Even if I wore the sneakers I would have to wear socks with  the capris and skirts ( and even I think it is a fashion faux pau) and (I wear anything wrinkly, too tight, holey, pilly , ripped, as long as it is comfy and cozy and I can move around in it.)
So what are the right shoes for me to wear to conquer the world….  this is the six million dollar SECRET question of the day…. I thought and thought and then it dawned on me…In the back of Kayla’s closet there is a pair of fuzzy slip on clogs. (although I am afraid of them…the falling off my feet factor) I have to scrunch my toes up!  The clogs are way comfortable ( perfect for being on my protected  toes all day) (wink,wink), they look kind of cool in relaxed but dressy kind of way  ( yeah sure) but I don’t have to wear socks. 
There is no mention of open back shoes in the dress code policy so they should pass all of the criteria and I can use them as a teaching tool.  I will let my students  know about the importance of the closed toe and even my socks and blister belief.   Who am I kidding….. they will probably say “Did you get a pair of new shoes…where are your pink slippers?” (If they even notice…at all…remains to be seen…)

Here is to scrunching up my toes and keeping my clogs on …. the right shoes to conquer the world today?!!!!

 (Let’s keep our fingers crossed…otherwise it is a  socks vs. blister day) (LCL)